Suzanne Stroup
@smstroup21 on her couch. Probably dreaming about Disney.
-Theatre-
Suzanne was my very first interview for this project and I was happy with that. I have photographed her many times and we hang out socially so I felt cozy that I could interview her effectively and also mess up a few times and she would forgive me.
After finally finding her unit in a labyrinth of strangely labeled apartment buildings, I was greeted by her two cats (one of which only has 3 legs) and we sat down to chat. I measured my distance, grabbed her piano bench and placed the microphone right in-between us, leaning over as to not break the 6 feet rule too much. Here is what we talked about (with some slight edits).
Interviewed 5.12.20
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Casey: So this is Suzanne. Yay!
Suzanne: Hello.
Casey: Oh my Gosh. So obviously this quarantine is bananas, right? It's just fucking insane. So we're all in our houses doing the same thing over and over again. But what is one silly thing that you miss the most? Is there one activity or one thing out in the world that you have not been able to surprisingly get here?
Suzanne: I very much miss rock climbing. Oh, my gosh.
I didn't realize how much of my mental health - because my anxiety kind of manifests into being angry and just being able to figure out that problem, it just gets that anger out. And so I'm like, can I just punch a pillow in my room? Will that do the same thing? And it does not.
Casey: Good to know.
Suzanne: But I can't imagine that rock climbing gyms are going to open because, like, how do you clean that? So, yeah, that's sort of the biggest thing that I'm just like,"I want to go back. I want to do it."
Casey: Where did you rock climb?
Suzanne: At Stone Summit. So like right up 85.
Casey: That place is great. Did you climb all the time?
Suzanne: Oh yeah. No, I am very beginner. Like ultimate beginner.
Casey: Yeah. But it's fun.
Suzanne: Yeah. It's very, very fun. Hello Calcifer.
Casey: We got the four footed friend.
Suzanne: Yes.
Casey: Is there a particular person you miss the most? I know like you're seeing...
Suzanne: Yeah, I'm seeing Brian and I'm seeing my parents. So that's been good. But man and I saw, from six feet away, Becca Medford the day after my birthday. So that was really nice. But yeah, I miss so many people and just, I mean, Zoom calls are great for what they are, but those are taxing on me. And like, that's not what I love about seeing people. Also, John Jenkins just got a new Corgi puppy and the fact I've not met that Corgi puppy makes me very angry. He literally lives across the street and I can't see him. But is there one person that I miss specifically? I probably miss Becca the most.
Casey: Is she doing OK?
Suzanne: She’s okay. She's with her parents. So that's good. And I also miss my friend Sarah Dawn a lot. She lives also right down the street, but her car broke down and she was with her friend in Kennesaw. And so she's just been in Kennesaw for two months.
Casey: Okay, jeez. That's hard. I hate that. So you're in your house. And right now you're living by yourself. Has that been hard? I know your boyfriend's coming but like waking up.…
Suzanne: Yeah, it is. You know, I cry for no reason. For no reason. Probably three times a week. There are just times and just days where I'm not doing well and I don't know how to to get back to that or whatever that's going to mean in the future. Because I really don't think that normal is ever gonna be a thing, that the old normal is a thing that will ever go back to. So, yeah, it's difficult.
Casey: Yeah. I feel like you're not alone. Even if you're seeing people, do you have anything that you created in terms of a sacred space or a sacred routine in this absolute mayhem?
Suzanne: Well, I'm lucky that my routine hasn't changed that much because I'm still teaching. I'm still typically in the same times that I would have been teaching before. So I still have—my days are pretty much full, which is really nice. Obviously being here is different. But I mean, this is very silly, but I think my sacred space is—again I see how silly this is—is Animal Crossing.
Casey: That's not silly!
Suzanne: Just like everyone else in the world, I'm going and I'm doing stuff and I'm having stuff accomplished. And even though I'm not doing anything in real life, it's like, okay I can pay this raccoon back my loan and it's okay. I'm getting it done.
Casey: That's excellent. I love that because, yeah, a lot of people are finding solace in it because you're getting things done. Have you started any new habits? Have you done anything different and weird? Have you started picking up a weird language or any like that?
Suzanne: I haven't started picking up a language. I've been writing more. I used to write a lot. And in the past, well, two months specifically. But it started to kind of come back to being like, oh, I can do this. And even if it's just a silly 30-second song.
Casey: So writing music? Oh, great, great, great. I love that! Are you recording them? Are you writing them down?
Suzanne: Some of them. Not all of them. But I play D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) and the one good thing about this is we play online because we're all over the country and for the first time in the two years that we've been playing, we're all free at night. So we're able to play a lot more. But my character is a bard and so I wrote songs that I write in the game and I perform in the game and I actually write them, which is pretty fun.
Casey: Oh my Gosh, are they liking hearing them?
Suzanne: So far yeah, yeah. They get stuck in my head, so I hope they get stuck in their heads, too.
Casey: Where are your friends?
Suzanne: Indiana. Iowa. Kansas. One is in like Gwinnett. And one is Decatur.
Casey: Are these people you went to college with? How do you know these people?
Suzanne: Oh yeah. We all went to college together.
Casey: I'm sure those D&D nights are hard to schedule in regular times.
Suzanne: Yeah. Very hard. We probably play like once, maybe twice a month if we're lucky and now we're playing like once or twice a week. Yeah, we're playing tonight. I'm very excited.
Casey: Yeah. How long do your D&D games usually go?
Suzanne: About three hours.
Casey: That's good. See. The times that I've played. It's always been like all freaking day. I'm like, no, I can't.
Suzanne: None of us can do that. Like one that just had a baby. Some of us are teachers. We can't play all day.
Casey: No no no. You've got other things to do. So you've mentioned that you're writing music, are you creating anything else? I don't know if you've been doing any of those, like Cyber Stages or whatever or any of the other cabarets and stuff.
Suzanne: I have not. I know that that's coming up. I'm feeling not motivated to do that. And I don't feel motivated to like do virtual auditions. It's really hard because we don't even know if any of it's ever coming back any time soon. And so it's like, well, yeah, I'll audition for this show that's in July. But why? So it's, it's been hard to find that motivation for sure.
Casey: What do you think will change for you after all of this? Will you do anything different when you go back to normal life?
Suzanne: I probably won't eat out as much. I'm learning that I don't have to do that. I obviously love rehearsal and love being in shows and miss being in that environment. But having nights free is really nice. I'll probably take more time off and really only do projects that I'm super passionate about because just having some time for me is something I didn't know that I needed, but I do.
Casey: No, I love that. I'm also finding that being home at night is something that I've missed. I really need it.
Suzanne: I'm sure that, you know, after two or three months or whatever, it's not going to be okay anymore. And I'm gonna be so stir crazy. But as of now, nights are the time where I'm just going to watch a movie and maybe make some popcorn and just snuggle and everything's going to be great.
Casey: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Dan (my fiancee) has a couple of jobs right now, which is awful because I'm not working and I have my nights completely alone and I don't think I've had my nights completely alone since I was in college because I was you know, I had a roommate, I had roommates, but like I was always in a show or I was photographing a show or I was at a show.
Suzanne: It's kind of nice.
Casey: I can, like, have a drink at 5:00 o'clock and just be at home. And have a hobby or whatever.
Suzanne: Yeah, totally.
Casey: Is there anything you are surprised to find that you like to do or that you don't like to do now that you have pretty much the time to do whatever you want to do?
Suzanne: Well, I know I don't like cleaning and I am feeling like I have to do that now.
Casey: These cats are cracking me up.
Suzanne: They're very silly. He's going to attack her any moment.
Casey: Oh my gosh. That's not nice she just only has three legs.
Suzanne: She can take care of herself. But yeah Brian's a nurse, so he like goes home and showers and does all that before he comes here.
Casey: Where is he a nurse?
Suzanne: He works at that chemo infusion center at Northside.
Casey: Has anything changed for his day to day?
Suzanne: I mean, more wearing - just more stuff. Yeah. I mean, I'm quarantining more than he is because I'm just afraid that I'm going to get something and give it to him and then he's gonna give it to a patient who's immunocompromised. That's not OK. Or a thing that I want to be responsible for.So.
Casey: That's a big thing. Oh my gosh, how scary. Are you worried about him at all?
Suzanne: Very, very. Yeah. I mean he could take care of himself. And I know that he's one of the healthiest people I know. So I'm not that worried about him. But yeah, for sure. I'm more worried about my dad who's, you know, 65 and agrees that the state shouldn't be open and that Kemp is an idiot and all that, but isn't wearing a mask when he goes out and it's like, "Dad, come on."
Casey: I went down and surprised my mom for Mother's Day and just drove to Savannah. I didn't tell her or my dad was coming, I just came through the back door and they were like, "Huh?!" And my mom came and was like, "Are we hugging? You're the first person I've seen. I have not been to the grocery store." She gets everything delivered. She has not seen anybody except my dad in over 50 days. And I was like, "I mean, you don't have to hug me you don't want to, I will 100 percent just go. I just wanted to surprise you." And she hugged me anyway. We didn't kiss, which was probably a good thing, but it is a scary thing. Yeah. The fact that I couldn't hug my mom there, or that she was afraid to hug me. I was afraid to hug her. It's a weird, weird place to be. So I don't even know.
Suzanne: My parents got a new puppy in January and so she, you know, is not adjusting well now - because they both work from home all the time anyway. But my mom's job is in conventions, so that's not happening at all. So she's just been able to play with the puppy all the time. And so now she's like transitioning back into work, the puppy is not transitioning well. Like she was on a phone call the other day and she she just hears — Maggie does like a little squeak. She doesn't bark. She doesn't whine. She just sounds like a squeaky toy. And she was doing her little squeaks. And then my mom looked down and Maggie had brought her her shoes and her sweatshirt to go on a walk.
Casey: She was like here you go. Wow. That dog is trained.
Suzanne: Yeah. She very smart for being the tiniest little nugget of a pup.
Casey: That's so funny. I was listening to a story on NPR just about that the other day, how people have been fostering and doing amazing adoptions during this quarantine. But also like if you had a puppy, you have to start training them now for when we go back. These poor animals, they are going to get shocked.
[At this point, the cats, Calcifer and Peggy, have entered the scene and the inevitable cat talk begins.]
Suzanne: This one is ready for me to go back to work. But Peggy (the three-legged cat) has such severe anxiety all the time.
Casey: Cause she's got three legs!
Suzanne: Cause she's got three legs! And like me, being home has done wonders for her. She is so snuggly and loving now. She's like, "I always want to snuggle. Except for when I don't."
Casey: Except for when I don't. Which is not right now. I love it cause I can see her on the table. I can see him just lying here.
Suzanne: No Cal. Cal. Don't drink my water.
Casey: Butthead. It's like, oh, you want me to sit with you? No, I don't. I'm not going to.
Suzanne: Be my friend. Calcifer.
Casey: No. Otis is thrilled that we're home.
Suzanne: I believe it. Yeah. Okay, let's do better than this. Oh, just lay like a normal kitten. There you go. Good boy.
Casey: Good kitty. Hii kitty. Look at all these kitties I have in my picture.
Suzanne: So many kitties,
Casey: So many kitties!
Suzanne: Every kitty in the land.
Casey: Every kitty in the land. Oh my god purrfect. Hi babies. Oh, oh no. She's like she's looking perfect. Calcifer's like no. I'm not into it. You can hold him.
Suzanne: He's okay. He'll be more wiggly if I try to hold him.
Casey: Yeah. Probably a good point. Oh my gosh, let's see. So cute, so cute.
