Donna Warfield
@donna_marie_27 in her truck. Check the cat fabric on the ceiling of the cab.
-Theatre-
Of course, the afternoon I come to Donna’s place there are some folks removing trees from the house across the street. The noise was terrible but we powered through her interview anyway and I’m so glad we did.
What a freaking trouper and what a multi-talented woman. I’ve worked with Donna but I had no idea what a kind and giving person she was until I started working on this project. I’m honored to know her.
She also transcribed her own interview because she has been transcribing most of them for me even though it has been hard. When I’m too tired to even look or think about another story she sends me a well timed text telling me who she finished transcribing that day. So if you don’t like it take it up with her. I wouldn’t cross her but be my guest.
Interviewed 5.13.20
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Casey: How are you feeling?
Donna: This week, really not good.I don't know. It's been going on for so long now, you know?
It's almost becoming normal, which is bad. This week in particular, I've been just sleeping a lot. I almost emailed you to be like, "Hey, I'll probably be asleep when you get here." Which I kind of was. I got up and put on clothes so that I would have clothes on when you arrived.
Casey: Appreciate it.
Donna: And then I went back to sleep. I don't know.
Casey: You don't have to know, but are you sad or angry? What are you feeling?
Donna: I have depression and anxiety and I would say I actually don't have a lot of anxiety about the situation because I think my anxiety is very based on needing to be perfect at the things that people expect of me, and right now, absolutely nothing is expected of me. So I'm just depressed.
It's a situation where it feels both super irrelevant and super relevant to have a mental illness. Because on the one hand, it's like no one's having a good time, and on the other hand, [my roommates] don't sleep all day, you know? I'm very aware of how I'm dealing with this.
Casey: Are you happy you're aware or are you like “I'd rather not?”
Donna: I think something I said to my friend on the phone, like, "I get it, I exist, and I would like to go back now." I'm spending too much time with myself. You know, this week has just been bad and I don't know why this week has been bad, but there have been other times where it's been fine. Like right now I'm having a conversation and it's 2:40 p.m. and the past three days I've been in bed till at least 5. So, you know, I'm doing pretty good.
Casey: Are you staying up all night then?
Donna: Kind of. I was on a pretty solid 5 a.m. to 2 p.m. sleep schedule, which is not great either, but was at least somewhat regular. Then it became, doesn't matter what time I go to sleep, why get up when I could just stay in bed all day?
Casey: At least you're coping how you cope, at least you know that. It will get better, you know. So when you're not sleeping, is there anything that you are doing now in quarantine that you want to take forward? Is there any sort of new ritual or sort of new habit?
Donna: I started painting.
Casey: Oh my gosh, yes!
Donna: Yeah. At the very beginning of this, I was like, I need to find things to do or else I'm going to go crazy. I was also having a really hard time focusing on any entertainment. I couldn't watch Netflix and pay attention to it because I was so distracted. I've gotten a little bit better about that. I can enjoy TV again.
But at the beginning, I was very much like, I need to do things. So I ordered a bunch of art supplies and started with Bob Ross, but quickly learned Bob Ross is really not great at teaching you how to paint. It's very relaxing to watch Bob Ross paint, but you're like, "How did you do that?" But before there was Bob Ross, there was this guy named William Alexander who Bob Ross learned from. Bob Ross is like painting . . . I feel like Bob Ross is good marijuana painting.
William Alexander is like on cocaine painting. He's German. He has a very thick German accent and he does the same style of paintings as Bob Ross, but he explains what he's doing a lot more and he's very aggressive. He's like, "And then you attack the canvas!"
Casey: Where do you find his stuff?
Donna: Oh, it's all on YouTube. And then sometimes I'll just watch random videos from random people. I'll just search "oil painting tutorials" and then try to do it.
Casey: So you're oil painting?
Donna: Yes, because Bob Ross oil paints and I was like, "I'll start with Bob Ross." So now I have all these oil painting supplies. Now I'm just in too deep. So it's oil painting that I've chosen to do.
Casey: Are you enjoying it or are you just like, I guess I have to do this now?
Donna: No, I am enjoying it. I think it's fun.
Casey: Oil painting is hard.
Donna: It's hard. Yeah, it is. But I've always been very scared of visual arts. I'm a writer and painting and stuff has always scared me. I think a lot of it is always like—it needs to look perfect. But I feel like the thing that I'm learning about visual art and that everyone has said is true anyways is if you're going to start it, you're going to be bad at it for a while and then you'll get better at it.
Casey: Yeah, with any art. So I'm sad that you're sleeping, but I'm also really happy that you're painting. That's fucking great. I wish I was doing something like that.
Donna: I'm also forcing myself to write every day.
Casey: What are you writing?
Donna: Well, I started an Instagram. Every day I post. It's not a new Instagram. It's my normal Instagram. Every day, I post a random photo—usually that I've taken outside—and I post a poem with it and I hashtag it "quarantine writing retreat," which just started. I used to occasionally post poetry on social media, and I was going to tag something quarantine-related and I saw that there was already a bunch of quarantine writing tags. I was like, "Hmm. I wonder if I could write something every day." Truthfully, I'm cheating because I don't really write something every day. There are definitely days where I don't write anything. But then there are other days where I write like three things. So I write enough that I can post every day.
Casey: Also, what is a day?
Donna: No, time is fake. Yeah. I'm eating ice cream at 3 in the morning a lot.
Casey: Oh yes, my entire eating schedule is completely off.
Donna: What is meals?
Casey: What do you miss? Is there anything, even if it's a silly thing?
Donna: I really do miss driving my car. So the couple times I have driven, I've been like, "Wow, this is so nice." Also, I've realized that the car is the number one place I listen to music. I don't think about listening to music otherwise. So I need to actively think about it more because music makes me happy.
But otherwise, I know it's a very vague and very artist answer, but I just really miss theatre. I just really miss doing theater. Don't we all?
